Cos I want to be

Ok so two blogs on one day .... Wow I'm on a roll. 
Ok so you know the saying you have to kiss a few frogs/toads before you find your prince well once again a friend has discussed her relationship with my partner and I and unfortunatly I feel she is just kissing a toad in the hopes that he will magic into her prince. BARP wrong answer. 
Ok back in the day when we were teenagers it was a case of kids trying to be adults but Hormones left you so amped up you were spinning in circles. Priorities were all over place because you just wanted to have your cake and eat it too always...... But what happens when those hormones settle down, you start to get out on your own and begin to realise that you can't have your cake and eat it too..... Like you know WHEN YOU BECOME AN ADULT.
Excuses are fine while you've got the time to be jerked around, but eventually at some point while kissing a frog you need to stop makeing excuses for why he hasn't yet morphed into your wonderful prince and just except that it ain't gunna happen. And although I understand that relationships aren't all glitter and fairy dust generally the hardest part is finding the true love not getting a guy and trying to make it work. If you struggle to respect yourself than why should anyone else. I try to always say to friends that come to me upset in a relationship. What would you tell me to do? With all the knowledge you have about your relationship imagine it's my relationship and give me advice. If I felt that my "partner" crossed a line in punishing my child or even our child, and I couldn't say to him without confidence that it was the wrong thing for him to do, what happens then? If I'm constantly explaining myself and can't freely discuss my days activities because it's going to upset him... Why bother talking at all? There are few things that need to be thought of. Things like, honestly what role model do you want for you child/children, are the things you want to talk about being met with open ears, eyes and heart, is the behaviour your conducting exceptable and equal. No point asking him to trust you if you don't trust him and no point asking him to trust you if your intentions are only to break that trust with lies.
My partner and I before we even concidered a relationship (he'd just got out of a marrage and I had got sick of kissing frogs just pretending to look for mr prince), made one little relationship "rule" that we were in the relationship because we want to be. I have my ways about me and I don't feel they are unexceptable, they aren't everyones cup of tea ways but they are mine. He has his ways too and where this rule comes into play is that rather than saying it's ok I'll let him hit my kids and talk to me that way cos who else is gunna have me or I have no one to turn to I can't afford to live on my own etc. I let my partner know where I stand on issues like my children and my own self and all I say is that if he doesn't like my behaviour he is free to leave as I feel that is him respecting himself enough not to put up with my behaviour also. However we have managed to make our relationship work by communicating and talking through our problems because each of us respect our selves and each other enough to do so. Not because we have to but because we want to. 
If my advice fails to get through to some I ask that they pick up a copy of a little book called "he's just not that into you".
Well that post 3 down woo go me.
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